sometimes when we touch
by Tutups
Summary: songfic, jack/ianto really angsty, its been nagging me since i heard the song, k for fluffy slash nothing explicit, one kiss.


disclaimer, i do not own the song, characters or anything else you recognise as torchwood/music related, please dont sue- im skint, really im boracic.

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Sometimes When We Touch - Dan Hill

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**Sometimes When We Touch **

**You ask me if I love you  
And I choke on my reply  
I'd rather hurt you honestly  
Than mislead you with a lie  
And who am I to judge you  
On what you say or do?  
I'm only just beginning to see the real you  
**

'Do you love me Ianto?'

Jack had been back for only a few days and he was acting a little strange, he was clingy and his eyes didn't have their usual shine, except when he was hunting- because then he was downright scary, he didn't care and had almost died twice.

Ianto gagged as he drew back from Jack who looked… terrified.

'Why? You never used to care.' So he'd tried to forgive Jack but he was still a little peeved because three months was a long time.

Jack looked like he'd been slapped but he hid it in the turmoil of his mind along with images of politicians and screwdrivers.

'times change' nothing more, no explanations.

**  
And sometimes when we touch  
The honesty's too much  
And I have to close my eyes and hide  
I wanna hold you 'til I die  
'Til we both break down and cry  
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides  
**

Ianto didn't know how to answer, because he understood jacks reply, it wasn't just time but people that changed, including him but if nothing changed no matter what, it was love and that scared him.  
**Romance and all its strategy  
Leaves me battling with my pride  
But through the insecurity  
Some tenderness survives  
I'm just another writer  
Still trapped within my truth  
A hesitant prize fighter  
Still trapped within my youth**

'Just for the record jack, I always loved you, even though I know no matter what you say it'll never be reciprocated and don't try and say otherwise, because I've only just healed, and frankly I cant go through it again, nothings worth sanity.'

**And sometimes when we touch  
The honesty's too much  
And I have to close my eyes and hide  
I wanna hold you 'til I die  
'Til we both break down and cry  
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subside**

**  
At times I'd like to break you  
And drive you to your knees  
At times I'd like to break through  
And hold you endlessly**

**At times I understand you  
And I know how hard you've tried  
I've watched while love commands you  
And I've watched love pass you by**

Jack stared at him worriedly; ianto hadn't really gone mad had he? Even if he had it didn't stop him being a mind reader, or being able to read the captain anyway. He stood up and began to unbutton his shirt sleeve but as he rolled it up he winced because some of the cuts were either still fresh, or at least deep enough to scar. Jack stared. After a while his eyes stopped seeing and his voice returned.

'I did this?' he hadn't realized that ianto had needed him that much, he thought he was the only one in their relationship who was totally dependent on the other and he realized just how selfish he was until he saw ianto shrug not wanting to show his emotions. Ianto stood up to leave but jack grabbed hold of his hand.

**At times I think we're drifters  
Still searching for a friend  
A brother or a sister  
But then the passion flares again**

He spun around and jack kissed him full on, but he wasn't being pushy like before, he was gently and tried to show how he really felt. Ianto pulled away and looked into his eyes, he didn't break eye contact .

**And sometimes when we touch  
The honesty's too much  
And I have to close my eyes and hide  
I wanna hold you 'til I die  
'Til we both break down and cry  
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides**

Ianto turned away pulling his sleeves back down and buttoning them absently.

'I want to jack, I really do, but I cant, because even though your worth it, im not, get on with your life jack, I doubt gwen will say no.'

He left jack to break down alone.

And that was the beginning, the beginning of two weeks of suicide and hiding until he plucked up the courage to show himself to the rest of the team, to have one more go before he lost the only thing he still had to live for, the touch of Mr. Ianto Jones.

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reviews appreciated


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